This morning as I was dropping my older son Noah off at school I told him to walk behind the van to the sidewalk because of the traffic that was moving in front. He jumped out and then stood there at the van for a second. I was looking the other direction, expecting to see him walk out from behind the van when I heard a knock on the window. It was Noah, he asked, “did you say to walk in front or behind the van?” I smiled and told him again that it was behind; he gave me a thumbs up and took off. For some of you this may sound a little funny, but after he left I had to smile because I was really happy with him. Of course the argument can be made that he should have listened better the first time I told him, but in reality, my happiness, even pride came from the fact that he did not panic when he couldn’t remember and he didn’t do what just seemed best to him, he stopped to ask again, not afraid that I would chastise him for not knowing the answer, but instead choosing to be sure of obedience over the fear of looking like he had not paid attention.
If we are going to be honest there are times in which all of us don’t hear, don’t remember or even, simply don’t listen. We all have moments in our lives in which we don’t know which way to go, we are not sure of what our next step should be or even if we are where we are supposed to be at the moment. Those times create a storm of emotions and a list of options. Many times we decide to do what seems best at the moment, “I am not sure whether to stay or go so I will make a list of the pros and cons and make a decision from there.” There are also times when we simply resort to what worked the last time we were in a familiar situation, most of us have a fallback position, “when all else fails . . .” Then there are the times in which we know we should ask God but for some reason we don’t. For each of us there is a different reason for not asking, but they all come from the same source. Some of us are attacked by pride, we won’t ask because we are able, or at least believe we should be able to figure it out. Some of us are racked by guilt and bad theology, we believe that if we were more of what God wanted us to be then He would more readily give us the answers we seek. I say this is bad theology because it makes us more sovereign than God; it puts His will in the hands of our behavior rather than His grace. Then there are those of us that won’t ask because we are gripped by a fearful, wrong image of God. We fear that He will smite us for asking, for bothering, for not knowing already, for not being as mature as we should be. But Jesus said, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” James wrote, “You have not because you ask not.”
All of our reasons for not asking God come from Satan. He lies to us about who God is, what God is like and what God expects from us. He wants us to believe that God is pleased by our strength and the way to get in His good graces (as if the truths of His breath of life in us and His death and resurrection are not already proof of our standing in His love) is by overcoming on our own. And yet, God tells us that when we are weak He is strong. Satan wants you and me to believe that God thinks we should know better because then we won’t depend upon Him for the strength of His grace to overcome sin. If we are guilt-riddled then we will never cry out for help because we will believe that we should help ourselves, even worse we will believe that God thinks we should help ourselves. But God says that when we are tempted that He is faithful to provide an escape for us, He knows our weakness and forever works to give us His power to overcome sin and walk in freedom. The enemy of your soul wants you to fear God, not in reverence but in rejection. His desire is that we would have such a veiled image of God that we would constantly fear that He will reject us and yet over and over again in Scripture when God or His messengers were revealed they first spoke, “Fear not.” John wrote for us so beautifully, “Perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” The fear of punishment is the fear of being rejected by God; it is Satan’s lie that keeps us from drawing close to God with our questions, our hopes, our doubts and even our need for forgiveness.
In Scripture we see all of these examples. When Adam was presented with the one thing that God had told him not to eat he believed the lies of the serpent and gave in to the desire of his eyes. What is worse is that when God confronted him he was ready with an excuse, “The woman you gave me”. The reality is that being tempted is not sinning and even more, being tempted does not make us helpless. Adam and Eve had been prepared by God, He had spoken clearly, they could have walked away, even more, I believe they could have called on Him. Imagine how different everything would have been if Adam and Eve would have stopped and called on God, told Him all of the serpent’s accusations and allowed God to speak. You and I still have this option! When we are tempted, when we are doubting, when we are unsure, we don’t have to give up or give in, we can stop and ask, we can watch and pray, we can wait for God to make clear that which is now so unsure.
King Saul was waiting for Samuel to come and make a sacrifice to God during a time in which the Philistines had Israel surrounded. Samuel said that he would be there in seven days, but now he was late and Saul decided he had to do something and so he broke God’s law by offering a sacrifice that only priests were permitted to offer. It seems that as soon as he was finished with this sacrifice that Samuel arrived and questioned Saul about what he had done and why. Saul’s excuse was weak: the people were afraid and Samuel was not present, he had to do something. We have never been called to just do something, we are always called to trust God and to only do what He asks of us. This concept of proving ourselves to God, or making our own way is utterly misguided, it leads us to disobedience which always leads us to difficulty!
Finally, Jesus told a parable about a man that left “talents” for his servants to care for while he was away. He gave 5 “talents” to one servant; he invested and turned it into 10. He gave 2 “talents” to another servant; he invested it and turned it into 4. He gave one talent to a third servant; he was afraid to invest it and so he buried it so that he would not lose it and made no profit at all. When the man returned he praised the first two servants for being faithful but the third he chastised as being lazy. The servant reasoned that he had been afraid of losing the “talent” and so he did nothing with it. The man responded that at the very least he should have put the “talent” in the bank so that it would have earned interest. Fear causes paralysis; it keeps us from doing anything at all. Living in fear is almost like guaranteeing that we will live in disobedience. Many of us reason that even though we do little right at least we have not done anything wrong; James makes it clear that this thinking is far off by writing, “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.”
I believe the thing that moved me the most this morning when Noah chose to stop and ask again what he was supposed to do is that it showed me a level of trust. Our relationship is growing to the point where he believes that he can trust me to guide him but he can also trust me to love him, not harm him. I believe that God longs for us to get to that very same place with Him. He is not sitting in heaven waiting to see if we will “get it right.” He is not disgusted that we didn’t hear or didn’t listen, He longs to be heard, but I believe just as much, He longs to be asked, to be trusted and to show His love. No matter what anyone says, we are not pawns in God’s hands, just being moved for the sake of His plan; we are children, dearly loved, patiently guided and perfectly cared for. God does not speak and then back away to see what we will do, He speaks and leads, He whispers and guides, He sings and carries. If you are struggling with where you are today, ask God, if you have already asked Him, ask again; He is not in heaven waiting to punish you if you fail, He is walking with you planning to give you a hope and a future. In Genesis 6 God told Noah that He was going to send a flood to destroy everyone and everything other than him and his family. God told him to build an ark and then God told him exactly how to build it, gave the measurements, the design even the kind of wood to use. At the end of the chapter the Bible says something great about Noah, “Noah did everything just as God commanded him.” I want to live in that kind of obedience, but I am learning that the only way I can be that obedient is if I am willing to trust God completely, willing to believe that He loves me eternally and willing to put aside my doubts, my fears, my expectations and my worries and simply believe that He knows the plans that He has for me. And when I am unsure of those plans, all I have to do is ask.