“Hear, God, as I express my concern; protect me from fear of the enemy.” Psalm 64:1 (International Standard Version)
One of my favorite things about David’s psalms is his pure honesty. David isn’t afraid to show God his heart, in fact, David isn’t even cautious in telling God how he feels. In his sorrow he sings songs of sorrow, when betrayed he sings songs of betrayal, when secure and safe he sings songs of safety and when crushed by sin he sings songs of repentance. David’s psalms teach us how outlandish the idea of pretending truly is. God doesn’t want us to say the right thing, He longs for us to be truthful, to share the reality of our hearts and emotions rather than to present what we are hoping for while pretending that there is nothing in us that is difficult, unsure or even plain and simply out of place. I am well aware that Proverbs tells us “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” but that is not a call to simply say what we want to see as if we were magicians with magic words, but it is an opportunity to learn that truth spoken, heard, trusted and believed has the ability to change our atmosphere, rework our thinking and transform our hearts.
Many translations of Psalm 64:1 use the word “complaint” rather than “concern” as David begins to speak to God, either word expresses the same thought, David is confident that he is not only allowed to share his heart with God but that it is also necessary. Relationships require honesty, deep, searching, sometimes painful honesty. David is not being disrespectful, he’s being loving, kind and completely submitted to God. We cannot truly live in submission to someone that we won’t share our hearts with. There is often a disconnect in our prayer lives, we are attempting to get God to move while God is steadfast in waiting for us to draw near; we put our attention on situations and God puts all of His desire on our heart condition. We want to speak things into being and God is waiting for us to submit our hearts and lives for transformation. David teaches us that pretending not to be afraid doesn’t chase fear away, acting happy in the midst of depression doesn’t cheer our souls, saying that you love the cave you are hiding in doesn’t make you feel like you are at home, that “counting it all joy” isn’t the same as being happy about suffering and that knowing you are loved and secure doesn’t come from things going as you want them to go but it comes from the depths of a relationship that allows for voicing complaints and concerns just as much as testimonies of praise and fulfilled promises.
Jesus said a few incredibly important things about the truth. He said that He is the truth, that the truth sets us free and then He joins truth and freedom together with Himself by saying “He who the Son sets free is free indeed”. We usually only think of freedom in terms of what we are free from. Jesus set us free from sin, from death, from hell, from bondage and so on, but what about what He freed us into? Jesus set us free into honesty and safety, security and comfort, He set us free to share our hearts without fear of being rejected, our hurts without fear of judgment, our complaints without fear of punishment. Jesus’ death and resurrection didn’t just remove the veil between man and God’s presence and the “wall of hostility” between Jew and Gentile, He removed the fear that keeps man from approaching God, from opening his heart, telling the truth and surrendering his will.
In Psalm 64:1 David’s complaint and concern was that God would protect him from fear. David understood that he didn’t have to be brave to get God’s approval, he could be honest and trust God to be his protector when he couldn’t find courage of his own. A living and vibrant relationship with God has to be based on love and built in honesty. If we truly believe that God loves us the way that He says that He does then we have to begin living in honesty before Him and we have to begin speaking honestly about Him and about our own hearts. I’ll start. This week I’m tired, I’m sad over the death of an acquantance, I’m frustrated over the slowness of some things that I think should go faster, I’m fearful about some projects that I know I can’t handle but I believe God has asked me to complete and I’m a little bit stung by some familiar emotions that I keep facing even though I really want to be finished with them. But all is not lost, I’ve been telling God all of these things and a few others and He’s being very kind. He is comforthing my heart, He’s encouraging me, He’s strengthening me and He’s even hiding me because the one thing He always does is Father me. God is not waiting for us to stand in front of Him with strong minds, resolved issues and unmoved emotions; He’s welcoming us to come to Him with true hearts, honest expressions and transparant, even vulnerable emotions. He wants our hearts, just as they are right now, He welcomes our concerns and He will be the love that the casts out all of our fears. Hold nothing back, keep nothing hidden, leave no words or concerns unspoken; open your heart to the Father because all the Father truly wants is your heart; He will be careful, He will be kind, He will be loving because He is good even when all we can find within us seems to be complaints and concerns.