Veronica Y. Brayboy is part of our City of Refuge Fellowship family and each month she will be sharing her heart on our website blog. Below is her blog post titled “Beauty for Ashes”
Years ago on one of my trips to the West coast during the Christmas holidays, as a
gift, my son and his sweet wife took me on an excursion up the Pacific coast. I’ll
never forget the beautiful scenery. At some point as we traveled it was clearly the
expanse of the ocean on one side and the mountains on the other. We stopped at rest
stops and admired the beautiful views. We even stopped along the way to visit the
luxuriously opulent Hearst Castle and also saw the elephant seals come up on the
beach to rest, it was awesome!
The other surprise of my gift was spending Christmas and several days in a beautiful
rented house in walking distance to the beach, in fact you could see and hear the
beach from the balcony off the main living area of the house.
It is there that I sat early one morning with Bible in hand and inwardly speaking to the
Lord about my life. So many things had changed for me personally as well as my
family. We, my son, his wife and I had all been through a series of losses and
brokenness that felt like a never-ending avalanche of inner pain . My energy was spent
on trying to understand the “whys” and “what ifs” that left me sometimes staggering
under the weightiness of sorrow. We loved God and knew He loved us, but in our
human frailty I admit, we hung on with a diminishing hope.
There was a stillness in those moments as I sat admiring the view of the ocean and the
mountains, smelling the early morning sea breeze, with only the sound of the waves
gently crashing against the large rocks on shore. Then in my peripheral vision I saw
movement. When I turned my head there stood the most beautiful majestic deer, it was
just a stone’s throw away. The deer held its head high and proudly walked even closer
and just stood there as if in a pose to make sure that I had full view of his beauty in all
its grandeur.
The moments seemed holy, so much that I was afraid to breathe less I dissipate the
presence of God that I sensed and felt. I have seen many deer before, but this was
different, this was true beauty that I was allowed to witness…
After a few more moments the deer darted off into a wooded area, but I still sat in awe
of what I had just experienced. I believe God used those precious moments to speak
to my shattered heart that even in the midst of pain and brokenness, God STILL has
beauty; and if we trust Him with that pain and brokenness, He can make something
beautiful out of it. Even when the ashes of our lives are so thick that we cannot see
nor have the strength to search out the beauty, He will help us to gaze upon His
beauty and find the strength to go on. We may not know how or when He’s going to
do it, but He’s our Father and He WILL.
As we celebrate “Passover” and “Resurrection Day”, let us remember that Jesus
became the sacrificial lamb to be crucified for our sins. That He did not come to just
“fix” us, but to redeem us”; and He was the only one that could pay the price. His
suffering and death were terrible to look upon, but out of the horrendous ashes of what
satan thought he had destroyed, arose God’s beauty of His True love…His love for
you and me. Isaiah chapter 61:1 reads:
“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.”
Jesus in the book of Luke chapter 4 read aloud this portion of scripture in the
synagogue and then said “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”
He came to do just what He said He would do…He died, He arose and He is alive…
“To comfort all who mourn,
To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” Isaiah 61:3
“Because he lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living
Just because He lives” -Bill Gaither
-Veronica Y. Brayboy